Letter to My Unborn Child

So a guy from the 1058th GTC loaded this video today: https://www.facebook.com/mbest11x/videos/764067707070232/

Even though I don't know if I'll ever meet you I just wanted to write my thoughts down. This message could also go to Jameson Maser and Mason Rynearson, since I love both of you boys like nephews.

Life changes after any time in a war zone. I came home questioning everything. For longer than I'd like to admit I was angry, adrift, and aimless other than basketball. Basketball had always been my sanctuary, and in a lot of ways it became my confession box and my temple. I threw myself into coaching.

By chance, if not Providence, I ended up at The College of Idaho. Coaching women's basketball was like learning to walk on your hands. Similar to what I'd always done, but completely different. I was never a very good X and O guy, but you were never going to outwork me. I recruited my butt off. I got lucky from time to time as well.

I ended up with some small town girls with hearts and motors that wouldn't stop. They made me learn how to communicate instead of yell. I was a broken man, and they loved me anyway. I let me ego lead instead of my heart when I left. Learn to not do that.

Even though it was time to go, I often wished I could have stayed, but it was time to put into action what I'd learned from them. I hope Libby will someday understand why I danced like no one was watching, because I know every kid who didn't come home was dancing his ass off with me. There's not a day that goes by that I don't smile because of them.

I coached men for a year as a head coach. I did it my way, with only one regret, keeping a kid I shouldn't have - but in giving him a chance he ended his career and left me free of my debt to the game. I've never once regretted leaving coaching men behind. It was time. My assistant coaches will never know how much they mean to me.

I spent the next three years paying back other veterans, as a County Service Officer and a Rater for the VA. I paid back a small portion of my debt to those who'd helped me when I came home. I suspect I'll be repaying that debt until my last day.

But I digress, what advice do I give to you.

Love with your whole heart. If they don't love you back, let them go their own way. I wasted so much time with unrequited love. It's better to be alone than experience the heartache of spending one day pining for anyone who doesn't reciprocate.

Love fiercely your friends. Those who we get to make of our tribe, or accept us into theirs, are owed your loyalty and respect.

Loyalty, honor, duty. These things matter more than life itself if the cause is just.

Liberty, once ensconced in your heart, soul, and mind, cannot be taken from you. I've know free convicts and imprisoned millionaires. Each person's right to live their life as they see fit, as long as it doesn't harm another is one of the bedrock principles of humanity. Help free people, not imprison them.

Family. It is our only hope of immortality on this plane. Nurture your children, nurture your neighbor, nurture your lands. Leave all you meet better than you found it.

Ride for the brand. Whether an itinerant cowboy, enlisted man, or titan of industry, be honest and loyal to whoever is scratching you a check. When it's time to leave, if you've lived and worked with integrity, you can go home again.

Laugh at yourself. No matter how bad of a man you are, there's someone who can end you. Be humble in victory, gracious in defeat. Life, if you're lucky, will give you equal parts of both. Dance like no one's watching when your heart is full.

Be kind. I've had to nurture this, as I'm a selfish person in nature. Work on your weaknesses and refine your strengths. Learn to be honest with yourself about both.

Never stop learning. Read the books wise men cite. Strive to make a better life for your children. Tell them you're sorry when you were wrong. Admit when you're wrong. Hold them to high standards. Try to not let them see how it breaks your heart when they cry. Let them see you cry.

Harvest game with them. Tell them that never once did you kill an animal without a pang of regret. Let them hear your thankfulness in the life of that animal feeding your tribe. Learn to shoot. Learn some men need to be killed. Know some men will never be able to pull that trigger. Pray you never have to.

Don't be afraid to fail. If I never get to meet you I hope someone from our tribe will tell you stories of my adventures. I lived all over America. I found honorable, wise men and women everywhere I went. You'll find whatever it is your heart seeks. Listen. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Learn to tell a great story. As humans we honor story tellers in our DNA, for each of us that draws a breath, lives to learn to love, suffer, mourn, and celebrate is a survivor. Treat each person you meet as such.

Know that the way you view your conquests affects your life's path. You'll never regret making love to a person you care about, but to use another is an anchor your soul carries. Never let regret keep you from loving or being loved.

Tell your friends you love them. When you lose them, your heart will take solace or misery in this. Tell stories of your friends and tribe who left this plane before you. As long as stories are told we are immortal.

Use moderation in things that alter your consciousness. Forsake anything as soon as you feel a need for it.

Recognize the beauty of the world around you. Listen to the classics. Read Shakespeare. Go to plays, attend an opera, see a ballet, Visit other countries that your country isn't in the process of invading.

Get to know yourself. Know that noble honorable blood flows in your veins. Advance your family name in honor.

I'm an Pragmatic Optimist...

Too many folks think this way.

Often in the survivalist world/prepper space I get the impression that folks are looking forward to a solar flare, Iranian EMP, societal collapse, financial system collapse, etc. I always wonder what those folks are smoking. Anything that sets the clock back to medieval technology promises a return to a life that is nasty brutish and short. Folks over 40 didn't fare well then, and we wouldn't should those conditions return.

Thankfully those odds remain slim, what I'm about to lay out now is my view of where things are headed. America is a dying Empire, as all empires must when they cease conquering and taxing new lands. Where will we be in 25 years? Here's my guess...

Barring any of the worst case scenarios mentioned above, we'll do what most Empires do as they wane, devalue our money, tax foolishly, see a greater and greater grey/black market, see localities exert more and more control, finally a Balkanization.

The devaluation has been under way since the Nixon administration, and continues to accelerate with each successive administration. There is no way to cater to special interests without continuing to spend like drunken sailors on their last night of shore leave in the PI. What's going to be interesting is to see who wins the next election. My money is on a Rubio vs. Clinton race, though my inner comic would be much more entertained by a Trump vs. Sanders circus. Who knows, I really don't care, other than having a couple of Supreme Court justices to either uphold the 2nd Amendment or strike it down.

The R's will spend on the military industrial complex if elected. The D's will continue to expand the entitlement industrial complex. Realistically it's 6 of one, half dozen of the other. I have zero faith in either party to rein in spending. Sometime in the next ten years, barring any black swan events the Federal Debt and Social Security/Medicare/Medicaid/ACA will start to dominate our budgets, by the time we start to talk about them in a serious manner it'll be to late to fix them.

So back to consequences. I think we'll see a Value Added Tax, sold as the only way to pay down the debt. As with all taxes on consumption it will only serve to slow down tax revenue. Continued Quantitative Easing schemes will be tried by the Federal Reserve to somehow prime the economy while only resulting in increasing the burden on the average American. 

The War on Drugs will come to an end, not due to it being horrible policy, but simply because we're broke. The trickle down here will be in police departments around the country losing 25 percent of cops on the beat, free gear, and the revenue that came from drug convictions, incarceration, and the probation/parole industry. There will be an uptick in violent crime, but also in shakedowns in the form of traffic tickets, code violations, etc. Look no further than Mexico, South Africa, Brazil, Russia, Argentina, and Venezuela to see how cops supplement their income, in official ways, part time contract security work, and through simple bribes,

Speaking of Mexico, we have a failed state on our southern border. Should drugs go legal here the cartels will move to kidnapping, prostitution, and intellectual property theft (think stolen movies) as they continue to thrive. Further straining border states that already feel forgotten by DC. 

Migration within the US will also be an issue. As states that went full retard with spending (California, Illinois, New Jersey, Rhode Island, New York, Taxachusetts, and Conecticut) on Union Contracts/Retirement plans, and other entitlements will see more and more skilled individuals leave, and companies fleeing to more reasonable locales. The animosity that was held towards "Okies" in California will be intensified this time around.

Puerto Rico right now is bankrupt, whether anyone wants to admit it or not. the states named above are 10 years at most behind being in the same condition. It's one thing when the folks see Congress unable to balance their check book, but when you start telling Texans they're going to pay for California's pension fund I think you'll see folks go to guns. I hope it's not a shooting war, but I don't see any other way this ends than with divorce. 

The states on both coasts are so fundamentally different than flyover country that I don't know how the Republic, the idea that is America, can survive. The inter-mountain west might fall under the benevolent rule of the competent administrators that the Mormons can be, but I wouldn't bet any of my money on it. Eastern Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Utah, and Wyoming are poor, but fiercely independent. The mid-West is anyone's guess. Texas will go its own way, but I think Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi ally with in one form or another. Tennessee, Kentucky, Georgia, the Carolinas, and West Virginia could go either way. Florida would be a hot mess. From Northern Virginia north it'll be a shit show. 

Again this is best case scenario, any form of a shooting war makes the remnants of Europe at the end of World War II look like a school carnival. 

What can I do to change any of this? Not a damn thing. The folks have figured out they can vote themselves a check from the Treasury, so eventually we'll be completely broke. All I can do is get out of debt, know how to live like my grandfather lived in a world without credit cards or fast food. Love my children and my wife with all my heart, and live a life of honor, duty, and service.

I can't thank Jack Spirko over at thesurvivalpodcast.com enough for his show and willingness to share the skills to be able to live a better life, if times get tough, or even if they don't.

Never Let Facts Get In the Way of a Narrative

In a country as diverse as ours it is to be expected that some folks are treated better in some places and worse in others. Racism is an evil thing, as no man should be judged on anything but the content of his character. The National Review published an exhaustive list of police involved shootings for the month of December 2015 that can be found here. Race certainly doesn't seem to be an indicator of who'll be aerated by the boys in blue.

What no one wants to talk about is that our legal system is, and has been from its beginning, tilted in favor of the wealthier among us. Does race matter? Ask OJ. If you can afford 3 of the best defense lawyers in America, odds are you're going to receive a much different outcome than relying on a public defender. 

Should the criminals in America ever realize if they ever stopped, as a whole, accepting plea bargains the criminal justice system would grind to a halt in a matter of weeks. Thankfully, most career criminals are quite below average (10% give or take from what I could find on-line, take psychopaths out of the equation and it's probably more) in intelligence and so self absorbed they would never be willing to risk the extra jail time to destroy the system that incarcerates them.

One of the mantras of shooting instructors in America boils down to this: Don't be in stupid places, at stupid times, doing stupid things, with stupid people. Words to live or die by.

It's Different This Time - Free College and Government Cheese

It's Different This Time

Oregon State University from above.

Senator Bernie Sanders is talking about free college for everyone today, and the evil's of student loan debt. It is terrifying that someone as old as he is has no idea how economics work. When the Federal Government backstops a loan, meaning the taxpayers pay the loan when a student defaults, the institutions themselves have no skin in the game. Tuition goes up, based on rising Pell Grants and student loan amounts.

If you want to solve this problem it's pretty simple. Make the universities backstop at least half of these loans. College will be forced to look at which students can repay loans based on aptitude, prior grades, and demand from employers of each department. Pretty sure the Gender Studies department would cease to exist on most campuses within a year. There is no reason for any college, for profit or non-profit, to turn any student away right now, regardless of whether or not they'll ever be able to use their "education" to get a job. 

You also need to give students the ability to declare bankruptcy on student debt, with the institutions being on the hook for half of the tuition. If you're not preparing a young person to be responsible, to work, and to repay debt as an institution of higher learning you should cease to exist.

Preppers used to be labeled savers...

What my boss thinks my house looks like...

I do my best to never describe myself as a Prepper in polite conversation. I talk about being frugal. I will talk debt killing strategy until I'm blue in the face. I wear the label of farmer proudly. I never disagree when I'm called a hippie or anarchist. that said it's common knowledge at work about the Snow Compound.

It's always fun to plant the seed of self sufficiency in friends minds. Early on they have no idea what I mean when I tell them Chooks are the gateway drug to homesteading. It's a blast to watch a light go off when I share something I learned from Jack Spirko's podcast. This week it was how to use your car and an inverter to keep your fridge going and electronics charged after a storm from an episode with Steven Harris. (I've included those links below, BTW.)

This post however isn't about hippie proselytizing. Frequently in the midst of these conversations my friends or co-workers will comment that if something goes down, they're headed to my house. I don't respond, but hope they know if it's a storm, or flood, etc I'll do all I can. If it's a major SHTF regional or greater event, they're welcome, but there will be a cost. Bring a skill, or bring a strong back.

http://www.thesurvivalpodcast.com/episode-1038-steven-harris-on-battery-back-up-systems-part-1-of-2

http://www.battery1234.com/

Team D Versus Team R

Honestly, I have no idea who reads the tripe I post, but to whoever you are thanks.

I've had the privilege to live in a lot of different places, and interact with a lot of different people. I've lived with a Russian from Siberia, a capitalist Swede, an indigenous Mexican, an Australian that made his holiday money snatching ostrich eggs, a Wiccan from east Texas, a Chinese kung fu student, a couple of stoners, and a first generation American via Haiti. The list is far longer, but I learned and grew much from knowing each.

Why does this matter? Everyone sees the world through the lens of their experiences. Living with folks who see the world differently than you and are willing to intelligently discuss their point of view forces growth. Early on in the internet I remember folks being excited about the international, border-less, censor-less exchange of ideas. Instead we got Facebook and the cacophony of like minded echo chambers or the vitriolic name calling found in the internet comment section. (In the interest of full disclosure, I would at some point like to be crowned King of the Internet Comments...)

We have 150 channels available, yet so rare is the good show we settle for background noise rather than interacting with friends, family, or literature. My friends on the Right are so up in arms over the Wildlife Refuge building takeover that many actually support this knuckle heads regardless of the facts. Any attempt at engagement or conversation with either my friends on the Right about this topic, or my friends on the Left about the #BLM movement immediately escalates to either Government Oppression or Governmental Oppression because race... Yet they'd never see anything in common with the other side.

As a geobachelor chilling on a farm I'm detached, and as such I see so much similarities from both sides. Poor people in America feel disenfranchised. Whether intuitively or consciously the middle class and poor in America know they game is rigged against them. The folks acting the fool in Harney County are outsiders, just like the folks in Ferguson and Baltimore. The anger of being dependent on Federal largess, and the shame that comes with subsidies, be they food stamps or grazing is real. Knowing that you could be on the street based on nothing more than the dictates of a faceless bureaucrat who doesn't answer to you or your community makes folks feel powerless.

Lawlessness is lawlessness. The gentlemen who took over the Refuge Center should be arrested and charged with criminal trespass, just as should the folks who took over public parks during the Occupy movement, just as students who take over college buildings, or loot CVS. I understand the frustration felt by each group, but to keep a Republic functioning it must be a nation of laws and not men. Right now we're headed towards a schism, best case the states just stop paying attention to federal laws they disagree with, worst case you get full blown civil war.

Interesting times.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

The trending hashtag on Twitter this morning was #OregonUnderAttack. Immediately my friends on the left began to make it about race. If those guys weren't white... Send in the SWAT teams... If they were Muslims they'd all already be dead (ask Hasan Nidal)... It was a pretty vitriolic topic.

In fairness I'd like to point out that as far as I remember the SWAT teams in both Ferguson and Baltimore weren't arresting anyone. They were acting the fool in Ferguson with bad tactics and worse made for TV sound bite optics, but busting heads and shackling folks they were not. Ferguson burned. Baltimore burned. I doubt the morons who've taken over a remote federal building in Harney County have burned a single building or looted any stores in Burns, most likely because they would have been shot immediately by the locals. For the record the Morons are not at all local, but I digress.

Lawlessness increases by the far right and left, yet overall crime rates continue to drop. Both sides of the political spectrum just see the misbehavior of their adversaries. Taking over the dean's office at Yale is no less a criminal act than taking over a federal building in the middle of nowhere. Having a rifle slung on your back should increase your punishment for said act, by the way, but all participants should be punished similarly. A civil society rests on the consent of the governed, as soon as the fringe on either side figures out they can do what they want, havoc will follow.

All three areas are poor (Baltimore, Ferguson, Burns). Abandoned by industry, though Burns feels as though the logging industry was destroyed by the EPA's Spotted Owl policy.  All three areas feel disenfranchised. What my friends on the left don't seem to realize is the same feelings of mistrust that spurred the riots in Ferguson and Baltimore can be seen in Harney County as well. The numbers I found listed the median income for a family in Harney County at around $38,000. What my friends on the left fail to realize is that if you take away the BLM/Forest Service/USDA (name your federal boogie man) employees and State Employees I'd bet that median salary goes down by at least 25%.

I've spent a fair amount of time in Harney County. It's a hard place to make a living. Hell, it's a hard place to stay alive 8 months out of the year. The weather is extreme, cold and windy in the winter, hot and dry in the summer with not much time in between seasons. High desert, dry, desolate. Your best and brightest leave and never look back. The ones left behind feel themselves under the thumb of the folks in Salem or worse yet, DC. For anyone being told how to live, or what you can or can't do on your property is infuriating. When it's someone who doesn't understand you or your home, looking down their nose at your poverty and lack of education it exacerbates the resentment of local ranchers, loggers, and outdoorsmen.

I think this must have been how the 1850's felt like. My friends on both sides of the political spectrum are getting more and more polarized towards one another. Both see the other as simply Other, Enemy, Less. After my time living all over the US I don't know how the Republic holds, short of a police state, from Balkanization. Interesting times my friends. Interesting times.

2016 Goals

Tito the Belted Galloway.

I turned 40 not too long ago, and to politely paraphrase Coach Gundy at Oklahoma State University, "I'm 40, I'm a man." Self-reflection, honest self-reflection at least, comes easier with age and I'm on the wrong side of 40 now.

I feel pretty good. After a lot of years of trying to squeeze more from my body than I had any right to ask, I take stock and overall I've been really lucky aside from a few broken bones, a couple of foot surgeries, and the occasional morning where I awake trying to remember which biker bar I'd engaged in human cock fighting the night before I'm doing well. For my health I'm extremely thankful.

My wife is just the sweetest woman alive. What she sees in me is beyond me most days. For said birthday she strong armed a bunch of friends into writing their favorite stories. I suspect she's just getting ready for the impending funeral due to my advanced age, but I digress. So in the mail a few days before the big Four Oh, this scrapbook of memories show up. I'm so thankful and blessed that she loves me the way she does.

Each and every day I wake up knowing I'm a lucky bastard. I've basically gotten to live the New Age Forrest Gump movie as my life, minus the whole Jenny the Coke Whore with the Hiv deal.

I've been lucky enough to coach some amazing kids at the collegiate level. I've got to do and see things in the Service that most kids never could dream of when grinding away for Big Blue. I've been blessed to never have been afraid to jump, and lived all over the world because of that. With a lot of work, focus on killing debt, and more than a little luck I can now call myself a Farmer. 

More than any of this, I've been lucky enough to make unbelievable friendships everywhere I've gone. Charlie, Manny, and Max in RI, Shawn, Bill, Gabe, Ruffin, and Jeff in Texas. More than I can count in Idaho, Utah, Oregon, New Mexico, and California. Keith, Dennis, and Michelle in Florida, and I'm sure in trying to pound out this post that I've forgotten some amazing folks. To Libby and Adam, thanks for always being there for me, I'll never be able to express my gratitude to you all.

The goals for the farm this year are pretty straight forward:

1. Tractor and implements.

2. Galloway bull.

3. Gutters and water cisterns set up on the house and barns.

4. Chicken coop occupied by chickens, ducks, geese, and quail.

5. 4 raised garden beds 

6. Plant around 4,000 locusts and apple trees in a Missouri Valley Gravel Bed system.

7. Ponds, swales, and shooting berm installed.

There's at least another 100 or so smaller projects that either need done, or that I'm hoping to be able to sneak in. I need to plant another 70 or so fruit, nut, grape vines, and blackberry vines.

We'll see what the next 363 days bring.